So I actually set out for a walk. It was Friday - two days ago - and the kids and I went to the FH to get some stuff done. One thing on my list was walking the perimeter of the property and the loop of the drive to get down how big it is (mileage wise). I guessed the driveway loop was about 1/4 mile -- not far off at .21 miles. I also guessed the perimeter of the property (we've been told is 2 1/3 acres) was around 1/2 mile....again, not far off when it registered .48 on my pedometer. I kept trying to find other loops/methods -- total walked that day was 1.05 miles. Not the greatest accomplishment but it was off the couch. I have got to get back on track - -summer is almost here and most of my clothes are a size or two smaller -- seeing as how that's what I was wearing last summer -- stress and life with food does not work well for me.
OK -- getting the babe and myself dressed -- we are off again to Gottschammer Grove (the farmhouse) and the 127 Acre Woods....the woods aren't really 127 acres, but rather woods in part of 127 acres....all behind Gottschammer Grove...we are off in search of enchanted mushrooms....or not so enchanted....hoping to find some yummy fungi!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Where can I buy a green thumb??
Funny topic title, I know. Funnier still the notion that I am about to plant my first garden. My type-a personality has me scrambling in books, on the internet and talking with friends to get ideas. I am excited and nervous as if I were planning a dinner for the President himself.
I have never been very good with playing in the dirt...seriously...ask any of my friends, especially those who have known me for most of my 37 years and the mere idea of me getting dirty will bring a chuckle to their soul. I have joked for years that I can kill a plant just by looking at it oddly....yet, hear I am, making a list of seeds to order, looking up what flowers can go into gardens to help cultivate (thanks Meli for that idea).
Tonight I bought the first seeds for our garden (our meaning mine & Meli's -- she's being an awesome pal and helping me...in the end we will be helping each other but still...love her!). I ran to our friendly Dollar General to pick up dog food and saw seed packets 3/$1. Remembering she said something about planting marigolds around the garden to ward off bugs, I called her to confirm that's what I had heard. I ended up buying marigolds, calendula & nasturtuim (the latter which I cannot pronounce). Meli said, "Yeah, our first seeds". I came home, broke out the books I have borrowed from her and have searched the net. Actually found a blogger on here that plants flowers in her garden for this exact same reason -- with lovely pictures, I might add. I am getting more excited.
I so much want this gardent, with its attempts at being organic, to flourish. I'm excited to see the first of my seedlings pop...then the joys of canning our goodies. This feels good, right. To try and live off the land a little...and cultivate beautiful at the same time.
Wish me luck...oh, and sorry it's been forever since I've been around.
I have never been very good with playing in the dirt...seriously...ask any of my friends, especially those who have known me for most of my 37 years and the mere idea of me getting dirty will bring a chuckle to their soul. I have joked for years that I can kill a plant just by looking at it oddly....yet, hear I am, making a list of seeds to order, looking up what flowers can go into gardens to help cultivate (thanks Meli for that idea).
Tonight I bought the first seeds for our garden (our meaning mine & Meli's -- she's being an awesome pal and helping me...in the end we will be helping each other but still...love her!). I ran to our friendly Dollar General to pick up dog food and saw seed packets 3/$1. Remembering she said something about planting marigolds around the garden to ward off bugs, I called her to confirm that's what I had heard. I ended up buying marigolds, calendula & nasturtuim (the latter which I cannot pronounce). Meli said, "Yeah, our first seeds". I came home, broke out the books I have borrowed from her and have searched the net. Actually found a blogger on here that plants flowers in her garden for this exact same reason -- with lovely pictures, I might add. I am getting more excited.
I so much want this gardent, with its attempts at being organic, to flourish. I'm excited to see the first of my seedlings pop...then the joys of canning our goodies. This feels good, right. To try and live off the land a little...and cultivate beautiful at the same time.
Wish me luck...oh, and sorry it's been forever since I've been around.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
The question was, are you a Christian? So, here is my answer.
A bit over a week ago, I was asked that question. Perplexed as it was from a friend of Kyle’s that leads their Men’s Bible Study, I of course, answered, “yes, why?” The reply was, “OK, are you a Christian according to Romans 10: 9-13?” I answered, “Do you mean have I accepted Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour kind of Christian? Yes.” The conversation spiraled into one of theology and maybe a little debate about my salvation, my definition as a Christian and the actual validity of my baptism verses my “being saved” which happened in that order and are separated by about 12 ½ years. It also steered a bit into my religious past and one religion I once to practiced and believed in.
Let me say now, before I continue, I know and feel in my heart, this friend came to me out of concern and love. And now – from the beginning….the rest of the story.
Let’s first address where I think most of the questioning came from. My religious past includes Catholocism, Momonism, and non-denominational Christian churches. From my earliest memories, I have known who Christ was, how important Jesus and salvation was and have always had a heart seeking after Him. Although that is true; we, as a family, never attended regular church services. I have no memory whatsoever of going to church as a family to just worship from any part of my childhood.
The Catholic Faith and how it plays a role in my life. When it came time for me to start school, my parents investigated a series of private institutions in the area given that the public school in our district was not to, in the least, my mother’s standards. Upon visits and interviews, my parents decided that St. Mary’s School (in Anderson) was best for our needs. I attended there from K – 6th. I have wonderful memories from that school and of the church where I attended mass several times a week by the end of my career there. On more than one occasion, I requested from my parents the permission to attend classes and become baptized Catholic. Those were all turned down with the reason being I was too immature to make that decision and understand the responsibility behind it.
Latter-Day Saints: Mormons. Upon entering junior high school, my parents put me into the public school system so that I would not be so shocked going into a huge high school. This was good for me, however, my heart missed going to church. I was used to mass several times a week and even occasionally on Sunday’s if the children’s choir was expected to sing. I tried going to mass a few times but felt intimidated to go alone and then sit there during communion (remember, I didn’t get baptized, didn’t go through first communion or first confession…none of it – just went through the motions). After a short while, my sister-in-law, a Mormon, asked if I wanted to attend church with her and my nephew and niece. I said, sure – was actually glad to be able to attend church, not alone and be a part of a regular worship. It wasn’t long after that I became active in Young Women’s, Mutual (youth group) and I even played on the girls’ basketball and volleyball teams. Within a couple of years, I was anxious to join and just like before, I requested permission from my parents to take the lessons and be baptized. Again, I was turned down with the same reasoning as before. Every couple of years, I would ask, always given the same answer. By the time I was 17, I knew that in a year I would be 18 and not have to request permission. In January of 1990, I turned 18. A couple months later I approached my parents (again) with my wishes and desires to be baptized. They were far from overjoyed. With hesitation, but knowing that I was 18, they agreed to let me have the lessons at home, but Mom wanted to sit in on them. So the lessons started and in March 1990 (the 18th to be exact) I was baptized in the Name of Jesus Christ. I can’t begin to tell you the emotions, spiritually, that surrounded the baptism. It had been so important to me for so long and I finally had it.
A few months later I graduated from high school and was ready to take life by its horns. I was still attending church and was happily serving as nursery leader. I also was fresh bait to Satan, 18 and arrogant. Within a few months I had made some poor choices that sent me into a series of poor choices…some with great blessings to come from them…others with lots of heart ache (and in all honesty, some choices had both). I think, in some respects, I took my baptism for granted and the blessings and gifts, let alone the responsibility, that it had to come with all of it. I popped in and out of the LDS church for several years….when I wasn’t there, I was normally at a local non-denominational church, attending regularly, serving in nursery. I would also go through periods of “church vacation” where I wouldn’t attend anywhere. I also in that time period, the time I refer to as my ‘lost’ decade, was married 3 times and divorced twice and gave birth to two beautiful children (they would be the blessings that came from poor choices).
It was actually at the time of my third divorce that I can mark as my “ah-ha” moment. The moment when I felt, without a shadow of a doubt, the Holy Spirit come upon me and say, “I am here!! I am with you!! I have not forsaken you!!” I had two children, ages 10 & 4.5. My marriage of 6 years was done. I had a car that was 3 months behind, a house that was 2 months behind, every utility bill was late and I was making $9 per hour. My soon-to-be-ex was not paying support or helping with bills as of yet. I felt like a failure for being 0:3 with marriages and I turned to scripture, prayer and prayer journaling. I really was seeking God like I had never done before. I knew that the only way I was going to recover from this situation I was in was to fully give my life to Him. I did just that. It was a weird situation, in some ways. I just explained that my bills and financial responsibilities were enough to make anyone lose it. Well, I had been fortunate to have a car my parents could let me use so I told the loan company, after much internal struggling, to please pick up the car they had the loan on. Please take it to auction, I could not afford to keep it, my ex-husband (soon-to-be) would not take over payments and I had to keep the house for the kids – they could live in a house, not a small compact car. They kept refusing to pick it up. I told them, I’ve cleaned it, the plates are off, the keys are under the mat. Still, they wouldn’t repossess the car. I kept praying about it and was saying, “Lord, help me to know what to do with this?! I know I took on the financial responsibility, but I don’t know how to keep the car, the house, feed the kids…please help me?” Then, on a Wednesday night, I called the loan company…again asking them to please pick up the car. The lady on the other end of the phone told me the strangest thing, “Mrs. Viera, we would like to offer a solution. This is a rare situation. We are going to give you 48 hours to sell your car.” WHAT?!?! I thought – didn’t say out loud – I was stunned!!! I thought they were crazy and my response was “Mam, I can’t possibly sell it for what I owe in 48 hours and I don’t have the money to make up the difference.” She then replied, “Please listen, I have details to give you. I want you to go to every dealership, every person you know and offer them the car. Ask them to make an offer – whatever their offer – bring to me their offers and the highest bidder will get the car” I was more confused. I didn’t know how I was supposed to sell a car, like auction style, in the next 48 hours and work and take care of kids….ugh…my head was spinning. Then she said, “I’m not supposed to tell you this, but the minimum amount that we need is $xxxx” (I honestly, cannot remember the number – it’s been years ago). I again, head spinning, was stunned. “But that is WAY less than what I owe” I said. The lady reassured me that it would be fine but to get out there and sell sell sell! OH, I almost forgot – the real kicker to the deal was if I sold the car for the amount they requested, they would write off the rest of the loan. YES – I SAID WRITE OFF THE REST OF THE LOAN!!! I hung up the phone, in tears and fell to my knees. I had never ever ever heard of anyone ever getting a “deal” like this – I KNEW IT WAS GOD!!! I immediately said a prayer of thanksgiving and then swooped the kids into the car to go to Bible Study – we were running late for now since I had been on the phone. That conversation, that situation not only is my “ah-ha” moment, it allowed me to get out from under my loan with the car and blessed a sweet teacher who needed a good dependable car for cheap money to get one. I paid taxes on the balance left over that the bank had written off (which, by the way, was over $10,000) and moved on from it a saved Christian.
Since this time of saving grace, I have also been blessed with a husband (prayed, fasted and meditated on this one) and another beautiful child.
Fast forward to last week. Are you a Christian? Yes.
The thing I was charged to look into was my baptism. Out of obedience, this friend feels as though I should be baptized again because I was saved since my baptism. He noted scripture speaking of how once saved then wash of the water. We are both in agreement that the baptism by water is not necessary for my salvation, just as a matter of obedience.
Although I appreciate his thoughts and his stance on this subject I have searched scripture and feel the same today as I did last week. My baptism isn’t a subject up for “do-over” or for me to call a mulligan.
Here’s why:
When I was baptized, I felt 100% sure of the commitment I was making. Yes, I have sinned since then (memo, we are all sinners). Sins that I have felt great remorse for and have repented for – as was needed. I was also young and arrogant, too young and arrogant to fully feel the spiritual blessings I did at 30. I also feel that the choices I made in my 20’s brought me to that place, physically and spiritually, where I was saved allowing me to grow into the person I am today – physically and spiritually. A baptism washes away your sins. I feel it would be hypocritical and almost like cheating to call “do-over”. I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew that I was breaking covenant with Christ and my baptism by acting like I did – and I still did it. No, it was not a conscious daily…ooo, God’s not gonna like that one….because I wasn’t where I needed to be. I am fully prepared to answer to God for my sins. I don’t have a choice. Me being re-baptized is not an option since I felt in my heart then and feel in my heart now that my first one doesn’t deserve a reset button. I don’t get to say, “do-over” because I was ten foot tall and bullet proof and I know that God has forgiven me. I know in my heart of hearts.
A few scriptures that reiterate my feelings:
Romans 8:12 -17 – I have an obligation. I took that obligation in 1990 and although it took me years to figure it out, I still hold ownership of that obligation.
1 Peter 1: 17-25
1 Peter 2: 1-3 I want to stay away from as much hypocracy and slander as possible. I want to be like that newborn, craving spiritual milk, growing up in my salvation.
1 Peter 3: 18- 22 Christ died for me to bring me to God
1 Peter 5: 10-11 God’s grace restores us
Acts 1:5 – Baptism by the Holy Spirit….I fully feel that is what my “ah-ha” moment was
1 Corin. 12:12 -31
I really love this one: Matthew 3:11 -- John the Baptist speaks of baptizing by water then later, one more powerful than he will baptize by the Holy Ghost.
Now – where does all of this leave my friend? I know in his heart, he is truly concerned that I be obedient and follow the scriptures and their order of things. He wanted me to be sure I knew he wasn’t attacking me. To that I responded “sometimes, there is this fine line between holding our brother’s accountable and judging them”. He said we are called as Christians to judge. I hold onto the teachings in Romans chapter 14. I am a sinner. I don’t know one person who isn’t in some fashion. I am all for leaving the judging up to God. I try to set examples and let others see Christ through me. I fail at this more than not but my goal is to teach by example.
I hope that these questions and discussion weren’t concerns for him because of my religious history, although, my past in the Mormon Church has been brought up on more than one occasion in the past week leading me to wonder. To that, I feel sadness and pity. I don’t believe in that faith any longer, but that doesn’t mean that I persecute them either. I believe they are Christians. Even if they weren’t, I’m still not here to persecute them or do anything but love them (according to the Word).
I fear that some people tend to get hung up on little details, little quirks that in the end make them lose sight of the real goal. I won’t stand up and say I am well versed in any scripture, because I am not. I also know that, because of my imperfections, I am not a good one to answer any doctrinal questions without doing any research. I do believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that my baptism, irregardless of where it took place or by whom is valid. The man who baptized me did so with the same words, spiritualness and prayer that I have seen displayed at a non-denominational church, a Baptist church and at the LDS church. If you have questions on other religions, faiths or doctrines, go to their sources, ask their teachers study it for yourself before drawing conclusions. And remember, we are called of God to love our neighbors, not judge them (Romans 14).
In conclusion, I am a child of God, I have fallen and stumbled in my life but I accept that I am imperfect because I am still growing and learning. I thank God for His grace and patience with me....and with those I love.
"Say what you mean and mean what you say because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind." ~ Dr. Seuss
Let me say now, before I continue, I know and feel in my heart, this friend came to me out of concern and love. And now – from the beginning….the rest of the story.
Let’s first address where I think most of the questioning came from. My religious past includes Catholocism, Momonism, and non-denominational Christian churches. From my earliest memories, I have known who Christ was, how important Jesus and salvation was and have always had a heart seeking after Him. Although that is true; we, as a family, never attended regular church services. I have no memory whatsoever of going to church as a family to just worship from any part of my childhood.
The Catholic Faith and how it plays a role in my life. When it came time for me to start school, my parents investigated a series of private institutions in the area given that the public school in our district was not to, in the least, my mother’s standards. Upon visits and interviews, my parents decided that St. Mary’s School (in Anderson) was best for our needs. I attended there from K – 6th. I have wonderful memories from that school and of the church where I attended mass several times a week by the end of my career there. On more than one occasion, I requested from my parents the permission to attend classes and become baptized Catholic. Those were all turned down with the reason being I was too immature to make that decision and understand the responsibility behind it.
Latter-Day Saints: Mormons. Upon entering junior high school, my parents put me into the public school system so that I would not be so shocked going into a huge high school. This was good for me, however, my heart missed going to church. I was used to mass several times a week and even occasionally on Sunday’s if the children’s choir was expected to sing. I tried going to mass a few times but felt intimidated to go alone and then sit there during communion (remember, I didn’t get baptized, didn’t go through first communion or first confession…none of it – just went through the motions). After a short while, my sister-in-law, a Mormon, asked if I wanted to attend church with her and my nephew and niece. I said, sure – was actually glad to be able to attend church, not alone and be a part of a regular worship. It wasn’t long after that I became active in Young Women’s, Mutual (youth group) and I even played on the girls’ basketball and volleyball teams. Within a couple of years, I was anxious to join and just like before, I requested permission from my parents to take the lessons and be baptized. Again, I was turned down with the same reasoning as before. Every couple of years, I would ask, always given the same answer. By the time I was 17, I knew that in a year I would be 18 and not have to request permission. In January of 1990, I turned 18. A couple months later I approached my parents (again) with my wishes and desires to be baptized. They were far from overjoyed. With hesitation, but knowing that I was 18, they agreed to let me have the lessons at home, but Mom wanted to sit in on them. So the lessons started and in March 1990 (the 18th to be exact) I was baptized in the Name of Jesus Christ. I can’t begin to tell you the emotions, spiritually, that surrounded the baptism. It had been so important to me for so long and I finally had it.
A few months later I graduated from high school and was ready to take life by its horns. I was still attending church and was happily serving as nursery leader. I also was fresh bait to Satan, 18 and arrogant. Within a few months I had made some poor choices that sent me into a series of poor choices…some with great blessings to come from them…others with lots of heart ache (and in all honesty, some choices had both). I think, in some respects, I took my baptism for granted and the blessings and gifts, let alone the responsibility, that it had to come with all of it. I popped in and out of the LDS church for several years….when I wasn’t there, I was normally at a local non-denominational church, attending regularly, serving in nursery. I would also go through periods of “church vacation” where I wouldn’t attend anywhere. I also in that time period, the time I refer to as my ‘lost’ decade, was married 3 times and divorced twice and gave birth to two beautiful children (they would be the blessings that came from poor choices).
It was actually at the time of my third divorce that I can mark as my “ah-ha” moment. The moment when I felt, without a shadow of a doubt, the Holy Spirit come upon me and say, “I am here!! I am with you!! I have not forsaken you!!” I had two children, ages 10 & 4.5. My marriage of 6 years was done. I had a car that was 3 months behind, a house that was 2 months behind, every utility bill was late and I was making $9 per hour. My soon-to-be-ex was not paying support or helping with bills as of yet. I felt like a failure for being 0:3 with marriages and I turned to scripture, prayer and prayer journaling. I really was seeking God like I had never done before. I knew that the only way I was going to recover from this situation I was in was to fully give my life to Him. I did just that. It was a weird situation, in some ways. I just explained that my bills and financial responsibilities were enough to make anyone lose it. Well, I had been fortunate to have a car my parents could let me use so I told the loan company, after much internal struggling, to please pick up the car they had the loan on. Please take it to auction, I could not afford to keep it, my ex-husband (soon-to-be) would not take over payments and I had to keep the house for the kids – they could live in a house, not a small compact car. They kept refusing to pick it up. I told them, I’ve cleaned it, the plates are off, the keys are under the mat. Still, they wouldn’t repossess the car. I kept praying about it and was saying, “Lord, help me to know what to do with this?! I know I took on the financial responsibility, but I don’t know how to keep the car, the house, feed the kids…please help me?” Then, on a Wednesday night, I called the loan company…again asking them to please pick up the car. The lady on the other end of the phone told me the strangest thing, “Mrs. Viera, we would like to offer a solution. This is a rare situation. We are going to give you 48 hours to sell your car.” WHAT?!?! I thought – didn’t say out loud – I was stunned!!! I thought they were crazy and my response was “Mam, I can’t possibly sell it for what I owe in 48 hours and I don’t have the money to make up the difference.” She then replied, “Please listen, I have details to give you. I want you to go to every dealership, every person you know and offer them the car. Ask them to make an offer – whatever their offer – bring to me their offers and the highest bidder will get the car” I was more confused. I didn’t know how I was supposed to sell a car, like auction style, in the next 48 hours and work and take care of kids….ugh…my head was spinning. Then she said, “I’m not supposed to tell you this, but the minimum amount that we need is $xxxx” (I honestly, cannot remember the number – it’s been years ago). I again, head spinning, was stunned. “But that is WAY less than what I owe” I said. The lady reassured me that it would be fine but to get out there and sell sell sell! OH, I almost forgot – the real kicker to the deal was if I sold the car for the amount they requested, they would write off the rest of the loan. YES – I SAID WRITE OFF THE REST OF THE LOAN!!! I hung up the phone, in tears and fell to my knees. I had never ever ever heard of anyone ever getting a “deal” like this – I KNEW IT WAS GOD!!! I immediately said a prayer of thanksgiving and then swooped the kids into the car to go to Bible Study – we were running late for now since I had been on the phone. That conversation, that situation not only is my “ah-ha” moment, it allowed me to get out from under my loan with the car and blessed a sweet teacher who needed a good dependable car for cheap money to get one. I paid taxes on the balance left over that the bank had written off (which, by the way, was over $10,000) and moved on from it a saved Christian.
Since this time of saving grace, I have also been blessed with a husband (prayed, fasted and meditated on this one) and another beautiful child.
Fast forward to last week. Are you a Christian? Yes.
The thing I was charged to look into was my baptism. Out of obedience, this friend feels as though I should be baptized again because I was saved since my baptism. He noted scripture speaking of how once saved then wash of the water. We are both in agreement that the baptism by water is not necessary for my salvation, just as a matter of obedience.
Although I appreciate his thoughts and his stance on this subject I have searched scripture and feel the same today as I did last week. My baptism isn’t a subject up for “do-over” or for me to call a mulligan.
Here’s why:
When I was baptized, I felt 100% sure of the commitment I was making. Yes, I have sinned since then (memo, we are all sinners). Sins that I have felt great remorse for and have repented for – as was needed. I was also young and arrogant, too young and arrogant to fully feel the spiritual blessings I did at 30. I also feel that the choices I made in my 20’s brought me to that place, physically and spiritually, where I was saved allowing me to grow into the person I am today – physically and spiritually. A baptism washes away your sins. I feel it would be hypocritical and almost like cheating to call “do-over”. I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew that I was breaking covenant with Christ and my baptism by acting like I did – and I still did it. No, it was not a conscious daily…ooo, God’s not gonna like that one….because I wasn’t where I needed to be. I am fully prepared to answer to God for my sins. I don’t have a choice. Me being re-baptized is not an option since I felt in my heart then and feel in my heart now that my first one doesn’t deserve a reset button. I don’t get to say, “do-over” because I was ten foot tall and bullet proof and I know that God has forgiven me. I know in my heart of hearts.
A few scriptures that reiterate my feelings:
Romans 8:12 -17 – I have an obligation. I took that obligation in 1990 and although it took me years to figure it out, I still hold ownership of that obligation.
1 Peter 1: 17-25
1 Peter 2: 1-3 I want to stay away from as much hypocracy and slander as possible. I want to be like that newborn, craving spiritual milk, growing up in my salvation.
1 Peter 3: 18- 22 Christ died for me to bring me to God
1 Peter 5: 10-11 God’s grace restores us
Acts 1:5 – Baptism by the Holy Spirit….I fully feel that is what my “ah-ha” moment was
1 Corin. 12:12 -31
I really love this one: Matthew 3:11 -- John the Baptist speaks of baptizing by water then later, one more powerful than he will baptize by the Holy Ghost.
Now – where does all of this leave my friend? I know in his heart, he is truly concerned that I be obedient and follow the scriptures and their order of things. He wanted me to be sure I knew he wasn’t attacking me. To that I responded “sometimes, there is this fine line between holding our brother’s accountable and judging them”. He said we are called as Christians to judge. I hold onto the teachings in Romans chapter 14. I am a sinner. I don’t know one person who isn’t in some fashion. I am all for leaving the judging up to God. I try to set examples and let others see Christ through me. I fail at this more than not but my goal is to teach by example.
I hope that these questions and discussion weren’t concerns for him because of my religious history, although, my past in the Mormon Church has been brought up on more than one occasion in the past week leading me to wonder. To that, I feel sadness and pity. I don’t believe in that faith any longer, but that doesn’t mean that I persecute them either. I believe they are Christians. Even if they weren’t, I’m still not here to persecute them or do anything but love them (according to the Word).
I fear that some people tend to get hung up on little details, little quirks that in the end make them lose sight of the real goal. I won’t stand up and say I am well versed in any scripture, because I am not. I also know that, because of my imperfections, I am not a good one to answer any doctrinal questions without doing any research. I do believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that my baptism, irregardless of where it took place or by whom is valid. The man who baptized me did so with the same words, spiritualness and prayer that I have seen displayed at a non-denominational church, a Baptist church and at the LDS church. If you have questions on other religions, faiths or doctrines, go to their sources, ask their teachers study it for yourself before drawing conclusions. And remember, we are called of God to love our neighbors, not judge them (Romans 14).
In conclusion, I am a child of God, I have fallen and stumbled in my life but I accept that I am imperfect because I am still growing and learning. I thank God for His grace and patience with me....and with those I love.
"Say what you mean and mean what you say because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind." ~ Dr. Seuss
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Ha -- That time of the month...I guess...
Ha ha -- just a play on words since it has been one insane month since my last post. Pathetic. Honest, but pathetic.
I just read my friend, Kim's, blog. Glad to know that my motiviation, or lack-there-of, has not gone solo. I know where part of mine is...the other part, that we must share, must be the season...cold, yucky, ready-for-spring, Indiana weather. Blargh. Now if I can only get busy like Kim is....
Weight loss goals: Ok -- first of all, I am almost starting at ground zero -- right where I was last year when I started. So, that being said, lose what was regained. Then, back to the get-that-I mean those - dimples off your bum, and where ever else they might be - weight loss goal.
Walking goals: Last year, I was able to accomplish 11 races. Last night, at the annual ARRC Awards Banquet, I was rewarded for some of those races by placing 2nd place in my age division..nice hoody sweatshirt -- then I was shocked -- I also got this lovely plaque...."Rookie Walker of the Year 2008". I was stunned! Pleased, but stunned. To top off my lovely evening, I also won a $50 gift card to the Running Company (not too shabby....like Tyler said, there's one shoe paid for -- ha ha). It made me try to refocus...try to remember how it felt when I was active..how my body liked having that feeling. I also, unfortunatley, remember the hard push feeling during a race. I just gotta get back out there. Yesterday was supposed to be my first race of the year - well, that just didn't happen to be financially possible. I want to do the road race series again for ARRC...so that will be 6 races...I will keep you posted on when and what.
Personal goals: Our center of balance is off right now. Within these four walls has been some tension, challenges and frustrations that have knocked our little world off of its pedistal. I think, pray, we are on our way back to getting things back into the right spin and timing of things. It's just been a challenging 4 weeks. Four weeks that have not been any help at all in me trying to focus on any of the above goals.
Well, that's that for now...I'm off to finish dinner and get lunches made for tomorrow...just another Manic Monday begins in T minus 6 hours.
I just read my friend, Kim's, blog. Glad to know that my motiviation, or lack-there-of, has not gone solo. I know where part of mine is...the other part, that we must share, must be the season...cold, yucky, ready-for-spring, Indiana weather. Blargh. Now if I can only get busy like Kim is....
Weight loss goals: Ok -- first of all, I am almost starting at ground zero -- right where I was last year when I started. So, that being said, lose what was regained. Then, back to the get-that-I mean those - dimples off your bum, and where ever else they might be - weight loss goal.
Walking goals: Last year, I was able to accomplish 11 races. Last night, at the annual ARRC Awards Banquet, I was rewarded for some of those races by placing 2nd place in my age division..nice hoody sweatshirt -- then I was shocked -- I also got this lovely plaque...."Rookie Walker of the Year 2008". I was stunned! Pleased, but stunned. To top off my lovely evening, I also won a $50 gift card to the Running Company (not too shabby....like Tyler said, there's one shoe paid for -- ha ha). It made me try to refocus...try to remember how it felt when I was active..how my body liked having that feeling. I also, unfortunatley, remember the hard push feeling during a race. I just gotta get back out there. Yesterday was supposed to be my first race of the year - well, that just didn't happen to be financially possible. I want to do the road race series again for ARRC...so that will be 6 races...I will keep you posted on when and what.
Personal goals: Our center of balance is off right now. Within these four walls has been some tension, challenges and frustrations that have knocked our little world off of its pedistal. I think, pray, we are on our way back to getting things back into the right spin and timing of things. It's just been a challenging 4 weeks. Four weeks that have not been any help at all in me trying to focus on any of the above goals.
Well, that's that for now...I'm off to finish dinner and get lunches made for tomorrow...just another Manic Monday begins in T minus 6 hours.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Delay...delay...it seems my blogs are under a delay
So, while I get on this website almost daily to check other blogs, I have not updated mine for a while. Sad.
My goals this year have not been quite as written down as I would like for them to be. In addition, there is a part of me that feels like I am in a purgatory of sorts. I know I should be walking every day. I know that the cold outside is a pathetic excuse when I have more walking videos than I care to name (or number). I know that my knee and hip bugging me isn't because I hurt them -- they are just tired of the weight fluctuating and inactivity. Yet, I still do nothing.
There is so much going on in our lives right now that it's almost as if I'm overwhelmed. Maybe it isn't almost as if, maybe I am. Maybe I, somewhere deep inside, know that my boundaries need to be set somewhere and between the constant running to pick up /drop off / do something with the kids (nearly 5 days a week or more), plus planning the farmhouse, plus daily living, trying to get to church (and failing at that right now as well), now teaching a child to drive, count calories, and all the other stuff that goes on, I'm just pooped....I know deep down that walking would help me deal with the stress but yet, I can't seem to get up and do it. I'm not quitting....just need to really get some things together and get it all planned out....the type A in me really needs to just make lists and stick to them.
What I really long for though is simplicity. I really really would like less running around, more quiet time with the family, more dinners with friends, less outside scheduling, less chaos in the house...more organization....ugh. I, in some fashion, have put a lot of stock into this farmhouse. There are a lot of "when we get to the new house" kind of comments that I think and say about a lot of these things that I want. I know for the rest of this school year I will be leaving the house at least once a day - Monday - Friday to play taxi to the boys (Dave & Ian). Dave will be driving next year and I hope that will help with the driving portion of the schedule -- at least his schedule. In my head, I have all ready placed a spot for things that are here in this house disorganized. Hopefully, those spots will come to be as Kyle gets the cabinets in and rooms set up. I also have in my head the neighborhood across the street from the farmhouse as my walking spot. It's perfect -- I will actually be able to walk out my front door, down the drive, across the street and loop 1 -3 or more miles in that little part of civilization --- especially considering the fact that the nearest house on our side of the street is 1/4 - 1/2 mile away.
So, as my purgatory sits...my life feels put on hold...it's only temporary....I know that...and I can almost see the end of the road....It's Jan 22 -- by Mar 22 we should be in the house putting our things in those places I can only right now picture in my head, walking in the neighborhood across the street, working in my yard/garden, cooking healthy foods (I do now too for the most part) in my new kitchen, having friends over for dinner and enjoying the quiet of 2 acres in the middle of Madison County.
My goals this year have not been quite as written down as I would like for them to be. In addition, there is a part of me that feels like I am in a purgatory of sorts. I know I should be walking every day. I know that the cold outside is a pathetic excuse when I have more walking videos than I care to name (or number). I know that my knee and hip bugging me isn't because I hurt them -- they are just tired of the weight fluctuating and inactivity. Yet, I still do nothing.
There is so much going on in our lives right now that it's almost as if I'm overwhelmed. Maybe it isn't almost as if, maybe I am. Maybe I, somewhere deep inside, know that my boundaries need to be set somewhere and between the constant running to pick up /drop off / do something with the kids (nearly 5 days a week or more), plus planning the farmhouse, plus daily living, trying to get to church (and failing at that right now as well), now teaching a child to drive, count calories, and all the other stuff that goes on, I'm just pooped....I know deep down that walking would help me deal with the stress but yet, I can't seem to get up and do it. I'm not quitting....just need to really get some things together and get it all planned out....the type A in me really needs to just make lists and stick to them.
What I really long for though is simplicity. I really really would like less running around, more quiet time with the family, more dinners with friends, less outside scheduling, less chaos in the house...more organization....ugh. I, in some fashion, have put a lot of stock into this farmhouse. There are a lot of "when we get to the new house" kind of comments that I think and say about a lot of these things that I want. I know for the rest of this school year I will be leaving the house at least once a day - Monday - Friday to play taxi to the boys (Dave & Ian). Dave will be driving next year and I hope that will help with the driving portion of the schedule -- at least his schedule. In my head, I have all ready placed a spot for things that are here in this house disorganized. Hopefully, those spots will come to be as Kyle gets the cabinets in and rooms set up. I also have in my head the neighborhood across the street from the farmhouse as my walking spot. It's perfect -- I will actually be able to walk out my front door, down the drive, across the street and loop 1 -3 or more miles in that little part of civilization --- especially considering the fact that the nearest house on our side of the street is 1/4 - 1/2 mile away.
So, as my purgatory sits...my life feels put on hold...it's only temporary....I know that...and I can almost see the end of the road....It's Jan 22 -- by Mar 22 we should be in the house putting our things in those places I can only right now picture in my head, walking in the neighborhood across the street, working in my yard/garden, cooking healthy foods (I do now too for the most part) in my new kitchen, having friends over for dinner and enjoying the quiet of 2 acres in the middle of Madison County.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
I so should be sleeping!
Ugh! It is 11:58pm, Sunday, Jan 11...I am so tired...but yet, here I am typing (sans glasses, I might add, so excuse goofy typos). My back is really bothering me. It has for quite some time and our intentions are for me to go to the chiropractor but it just hasn't happened yet. Actually, I am just waiting on our flex spending med card to come in the mail. Kyle says I will probably be in tears at my first appointment. I would just love to know what's going on with it. I am sure stress is part of it, although it is not hurting where stress normally hits it. There are times I fear throwing it out again...I haven't felt that fear in a while. I don't remember my back truly hurting when I threw it out in the Fall of 2000, but I sure do remember the pain I felt and the stupor from the drugs....not fun!
Tomorrow is our first day back to co-op. It is a new co-op which brings on all new kinds of thoughts, feelings, etc. The other co-op was just not a place where I felt comfortable. The politics and rules were getting beyond what I was looking for and where I wanted my kids to be. This co-op is smaller. Has some other fun things about it, like more high school kids for Dave to hang with, and hot lunch (so that's one less thing to worry about on Sunday night preps). I am hoping that this is a good place for us. God willing, it will be.
I had to tell Jenna tonight that one of her best friends is moving away. That is the second time I have had to tell her that in 5 years. This one is sudden and the move is quick, like before Feb. 1. Employment reasons. I am not only sad for Jenna but sad personally. Jill, the mom, has become someone I value as a friend. She was some major support in my breastfeeding journey with Emma. She is also somewhat of an inspiration to me, for various reasons. She and her entire family will be greatly missed.
Ok, I need to try and get some sleep. 7am will come all too soon, especially since my sleep has been goobered lately as well.
Tomorrow is our first day back to co-op. It is a new co-op which brings on all new kinds of thoughts, feelings, etc. The other co-op was just not a place where I felt comfortable. The politics and rules were getting beyond what I was looking for and where I wanted my kids to be. This co-op is smaller. Has some other fun things about it, like more high school kids for Dave to hang with, and hot lunch (so that's one less thing to worry about on Sunday night preps). I am hoping that this is a good place for us. God willing, it will be.
I had to tell Jenna tonight that one of her best friends is moving away. That is the second time I have had to tell her that in 5 years. This one is sudden and the move is quick, like before Feb. 1. Employment reasons. I am not only sad for Jenna but sad personally. Jill, the mom, has become someone I value as a friend. She was some major support in my breastfeeding journey with Emma. She is also somewhat of an inspiration to me, for various reasons. She and her entire family will be greatly missed.
Ok, I need to try and get some sleep. 7am will come all too soon, especially since my sleep has been goobered lately as well.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Aahhh, just taking a brief breather....
At some point, these blogs just might include some sort of workout - besides the chasing of a very active 22 month-old. She is held a lot (thanks to my attachment parenting) so that is my weight training. She loves to be twirled and swung around as well -- all very good but afraid not quite what I should be doing.
This week has been a crazy week. I have been feeling queasy and tired a lot, which isn't a good start for a workout, and then Kyle's accident, then cold...just been crazy. I have cooked ok, but not great. I took down most of the Christmas stuff last night - just a few more lights on the tree and tomorrow we are taking it to the farmhouse for a torching ceremony. It should go pretty fast, hasn't been watered all week.
Just starting to look at races for the year. I did some of that right before New Years but then not much since. I know the Polar Bear is on the schedule. I am torn between the White River Run and the Geist 5K. The Geist one is beautiful and normally I wouldn't bat an eye with it being the same day as the WWR but my sister-in-law, Linda, is wanting to make the Geist 5K a family thing. My nephew (age 11) is running them now and ran his last one in like 25 minutes..she wants to do some but knows she won't keep up with him and then she emailed a bunch of us wanting to get us together and then go to her brother's house afterward for a brunch. Sounds good...and I was wondering, the other night as I laid in bed, if knowing more family was in it if it would kick in a bit more of my competitiveness to keep up a little better. At least be run-walking it more....I honestly don't know what would motivate me enough. Emotionally, I am in a funk. Probably worrying about more things than I should be. Could be just winter, and the fact that holidays seemed out of balance here at the house, just feels weird.
Ok -- I need to get dinner finished up -- Angela and the boys are joining us tonight, kind of a late Christmas dinner / gift exchange. Kyle is on his way home and Angela will be here in 30 minutes.
Prayer request: my niece and her hubby start their journey of flight tomorrow to Africa to pick up their new kiddos. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers for a safe journey there and back and that the kids adjustment will be quick and easy. Yeah, Manda & Andrew!
This week has been a crazy week. I have been feeling queasy and tired a lot, which isn't a good start for a workout, and then Kyle's accident, then cold...just been crazy. I have cooked ok, but not great. I took down most of the Christmas stuff last night - just a few more lights on the tree and tomorrow we are taking it to the farmhouse for a torching ceremony. It should go pretty fast, hasn't been watered all week.
Just starting to look at races for the year. I did some of that right before New Years but then not much since. I know the Polar Bear is on the schedule. I am torn between the White River Run and the Geist 5K. The Geist one is beautiful and normally I wouldn't bat an eye with it being the same day as the WWR but my sister-in-law, Linda, is wanting to make the Geist 5K a family thing. My nephew (age 11) is running them now and ran his last one in like 25 minutes..she wants to do some but knows she won't keep up with him and then she emailed a bunch of us wanting to get us together and then go to her brother's house afterward for a brunch. Sounds good...and I was wondering, the other night as I laid in bed, if knowing more family was in it if it would kick in a bit more of my competitiveness to keep up a little better. At least be run-walking it more....I honestly don't know what would motivate me enough. Emotionally, I am in a funk. Probably worrying about more things than I should be. Could be just winter, and the fact that holidays seemed out of balance here at the house, just feels weird.
Ok -- I need to get dinner finished up -- Angela and the boys are joining us tonight, kind of a late Christmas dinner / gift exchange. Kyle is on his way home and Angela will be here in 30 minutes.
Prayer request: my niece and her hubby start their journey of flight tomorrow to Africa to pick up their new kiddos. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers for a safe journey there and back and that the kids adjustment will be quick and easy. Yeah, Manda & Andrew!
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